Readabout 's Managing Diffilcult People

How to Conquer Difficult - Needs

Anytime a person argues fights, annoys others, pushes others and so on there are a need underlying the true problem. Needs is something that all of us have inside, and if those needs are not filled, problems will occur every time.

For instance, if a person I feel very frustrated every time you expect me to get something done on the minute. I have other things in my life that require my attention, yet you think I should jump when you say, how high.

What do you think the problem is? What do you think the person needs? The problem is the person is overwhelmed. The need is for the person to feel less strained.

How can we help this difficult person relax? I realize you have other agendas on your daily schedules and I really appreciate the work you do for me, however I need this task immediately if possible. If there is anything, I can do to help, just let me know.

You moved anxiety and stress from the person's mind, which opened up the channel for thoughts to process with less strain. Good deal, likely this person will complete the task on time while managing her task load to finish other duties.

Let's examine a more aggressive situation that often occurs in someone's life. If you don't give me your lunch tomorrow, my friends, and me are going to beat you up after school. Everyday the boy gives up his lunch because he is afraid the bullies will beat him up, yet each day he gives up his food, the bullies expect more of him.

In this situation, it is always wise to tell an adult. However, after carefully studying these issues I noticed that victims of bullies are rarely, heard until something goes wrong. Now if the child strikes back the teachers will punish him, and the punishment will continue at home with the parents, it never fails.

What can this kid do, since in these situations showing kindness to a bully could get you hurt? Bullies think of kindness as weakness and will often intensify the persecution.

In this situation, the child should take written notes each time the bully threatens him. The need in this situation is a desire of the bully to control others. Apparently someone in his history has made him feel inferior to others, therefore he must act out in such way to get the attention he feels will make his need go away. The victim in the scene is threatened and fears the bully, thus he has a need to feel relaxed. Let's give the child a hand.

Write down each time the bully threatens you. Why? Written words will get you further than verbal words, especially if you show the dated record to your teachers and parents, as well as the police. Although you are aware that while dealing with these situations, rarely does anyone listen, however it is important to ask for legally assistance. The police can further instruct you on how to handle the problem.

Still, there will come a day you will need to confront the bully. The last thing you want to do is fight back. Rather, approach the bully in a friendly manner, although he will see it as a weakness and continue by using positive reflections, examples, and feelings in the confrontation. Let the bully know that you are aware of his needs, and that you respect his opinions, yet the way he is searching to fulfill those needs is only hurting everyone involved. Ask him if it is possible you can offer a hand to help him find a comfort zone were he can relax. Let him know that you are willing to share your lunch with him. Offering to share the lunch may break his mood.

By Readabout's Handling Difficult People Team

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