Readabout 's Managing Diffilcult People

How to Conquer Difficult People - Assertive Rights

Your assertive rights and understanding them is essential in solving problems and conquering difficult people. As people, we have the right to make choices for ourselves. Those rights include choosing your own course of life. Your rights include expressing your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. You have the right to choose what you believe, set your own values, express opinions, emotions, and enforce respect from others. You also have the right to paraphrase letting the person know that you are confused of what is being said, or that you just don't have an answer. You have the right to ask for help, ask for information to help you understand, and you have the right to demand from others to respect your opinions, thoughts, rights, and so forth. Still, you have the right to listen, as well as having the right to ask others to listen to you. Your rights include asking people to take you serious, asking what the person wants of you, and so forth. You also have the right to be assertive with any person and expect to feel no guilt from expressing your feelings, thoughts, and opinions and so on assertively.

While it is good to understand and demand respect for your own rights, you must also realize that the difficult person has the same rights although he is violating your rights.

To help you see respect and understanding a problem, we can consider.
A woman is visiting her friend who is married and her husband is playing chess with the visiting woman's mate. The friend makes a statement, saying, men are boring.

The friend takes offense, because she is generalizing and calling her husband, as well as the friend's husband boring. So the woman instead of putting up a defense says, so what I am understanding you to say is that all men are boring, although this is not true. If all men were boring, why do men build buildings, take hikes, camp, play ball, and so forth?

The woman used paraphrasing to reach a point, as well as considered what the friend was saying. This puts a halt up, since now the friend will have to think about what she is saying.

She could have shot back saying, you are calling my husband boring and I resent you for this. Alternatively, something to the effect, however this would have put up a defense and started an argument. The woman refrained and put thoughts into the head of her friend.

Another time her friend asks her if she wants to go to the bar with her, since all men do is sit around playing games. The woman could say, sure let's hit it and go out the door without asking her husband if he cares.

She handles the situation in such manner by asking her husband if he wants her to go to the bar. Her husband thinks, and says no. Now, her friend is wanting an explanation as to why she can't go to the bar with her. Her friend speaks up and says, because my husband has my best interest at heart and he knows what goes on in bars. She says, well you don't have to listen to him. He can't tell you what to do. The woman comes back saying, oh yes he can tell me what to do. As long as he has my best interest at heart, it is his right.

The woman used facts to demonstrate a point. Since it is difficult to argue with the facts, her friend has no other choice but to shut up or divert another strategy to get what she wants. As you notice the difficult person is violating rights, however the friend is respecting her friend's decisions, yet halting the possible argument by using her head.

By Readabout's Handling Difficult People Team

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