Readabout 's Managing Diffilcult People

How to Conquer Difficult People - On Defense

A person on defense and in denial will often cause difficulties for other people. These people tend to act out in various ways, including expressing negative thoughts, anger, pushing others, annoying others, and so on.

Denial means the person is thoroughly rejected any responsibility of his actions, feelings, or thoughts. For instance, this person will often "you" people to death, thus casting judgment, while criticizing, and pressure others to believe his opinions. The person will often suppress any emotions, thoughts, actions, or feelings by trying to hide it and using a disguise so that others won't recognize it.

The person in denial is always on the defense for these reasons, will reverse feelings through reaction formations, project their thoughts, or ideas on others aggressively, or passively, and will redirect their true feelings. This person will rationalize with his own thinking although he may recognize it is not true. The person will intellectually try to undermine others, and will try to undo his actions and thoughts. He will also isolate his feelings, emotions, and thoughts, as well as redirecting the feelings in a sublimation strategy.

A person in denial and on the defense often disrespects others rights, and rarely will converse with a person that makes the person feel at ease.

What are you dealing with? What type of person do you need to conquer? Difficult people often have fears, which are the root of the problem. For instance if you are dealing with a boss that makes you feel inferior to him, and uses lame words to put you down, thus you are dealing with a person that is in denial, on the defense and the root of his problem, is fear of you becoming better than him. He does not respect equilibrium.

If you are dealing with a mate that constantly claims, you don't love him or her. The problem is that the person hasn't learnt to love self, thus he/she is in denial and on the defense making, and you feel like the bad person.

The key then to dealing with these types of difficult people is finding a solution that will help them to see what they are denying. The best choice solutions are removing judgments, criticism, defense strategies, and the like.

You want to help the person see that it is ok to make mistakes and this is their rights. After you get the problem figured out, you can move into the solution building process.

The solution building process is imagery tactics combined with brainstorming, problem solving, removing negative thoughts, avoid blaming, and so on.

You can learn strategies to help the person see that better outcomes come from acceptance. You can help them see that you take responsibility of your actions, words, thoughts, and feelings; therefore, it is safe to take that responsibility.

Using tactics that promote positive thinking is the best workable solution for dealing with any problem. For instance, I was nearly murdered a few years back for the second time by the same person who was never sent to prison. As you can see my anger was valid, yet how I released and dealt with it made a difference. I turned the negative into positive and now I write books and articles that help other people cope with stress, deal with problems, and how to conquer these difficult people. The one thing that kept me hanging on was realizing that all bad people do pay for their mistakes one way or another. Today he is sitting in prison where he belongs.

By Readabout's Handling Difficult People Team

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