Readabout 's Managing Diffilcult People

How to use Feeling to Conquer Difficult People

I think
I think
I think
Each time a person said I think, it led to problems. On the other hand, each time a person said I feel it has brought forth good results. If you are dealing with a problem, don't approach the person with I think, rather approach him or her with I feel. For instance, per se someone is trying to pressure you to loan her your diamond ring for a costume party. You had spent a fortune on the ring and feel uncomfortable with loaning the ring out. The person is not taking no for an answer, so you are feeling over pressured and don't know what to do.

OK assuming you've already told her know and she is still pressuring you, you've already got past the first rule of thumb dealing with the difficult person. Now you're going have to move on to the "I want" plan. For instance, I paid a fortune for this ring, and while I trust you, I won't feel comfortable loaning out the ring, therefore I don't want to do this.

Is she still pressuring you? Is so, move on to the "I feel" plan. For instance, no I absolutely would not feel comfortable loaning out my ring. Use an assertive tone as you speak.

If the person persists, go for the empathy solution, i.e. say I realize you have a party to attend to and you want to look good, and you do look good already, therefore I understand your needs, but I cannot oblige you at this time.

If the person continue to persist, go for the mixing up of feelings plan. For instance, well golly, a part of me really wants to loan the ring, while the other part of me is telling me not to loan you the ring. I simply just can't do it. I am sorry, this is just not an option that I so comfortable with.

Now you have other alternatives. You can use the let your no mean no approach and take a chance on loosing your friend. However, this is the most effective approach and if you loose your friend, keep in mind you never had a friend in the first place. A true friend will not pressure you into doing things he or she wants you to do. This is violating your rights, and the person is showing disrespect for your rights and feelings. Therefore, sending pushy friends down the road and accumulate friends that won't push you. Still, you have to remember people are imperfect; therefore use wisdom as you consider which friends are suited for you.

As you, talk to the difficult person; be sure to pause between the conversations to hear what the person is saying. Use your thinking to determine if what they are saying to you makes any sense. Do not jump to conclusions, and avoid becoming angry since it will only make matters worse.

As you ponder on ideas to solve the problem, be sure to consider all aspects of the problem, as well as all resolves. You will also need to consider the consequences of your decisions as you work to resolve the issue. As you search for answers to resolve the problem always be honest with you and the difficult person. Most people cannot argue with facts that are backed with evidence. Still, you will have people that will try their hardest to argue against truth, therefore always prepare as you work to resolve difficult problems. Preparing will always help you to stay in control of your situations.

By Readabout's Handling Difficult People Team

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