Readabout 's Managing Diffilcult People

Paraphrasing to Conquer Difficult People

If ever time, a person argued with you and you caved in and argue back, your head would explode, your goals would fall behind, and your life would be filled with chaos.

Paraphrasing is one of the best tools you can use while dealing with difficult people. Paraphrasing halts increasing anger, while simmering a disaster, paraphrasing halts miss communicated words, or assumptions. Paraphrase also enhances memory, removes judgments, and comparisons, as well as helping the person see things more clearly.

To help you see how paraphrasing could benefit you, consider. If the difficult person approaches you prepared to argue and makes a statement you don't want to hear, instead of biting back, say, so, what you are saying is, or did you mean, and so, in other words you are saying,

As you can see, paraphrasing will make the person stop and think which means he may find a connection with his own feelings and rephrase the statement to it makes sense.

You can use paraphrasing in conjunction with clarifying the responses in the argument. In other words, you could say, I want to understand you and how you feel, however, I need to clarify my own understanding so that I can understand your feelings.

As you can see, showing interest in what the person is saying could sit him down and make him think about what he is saying to you. Opening the doors to communication can prove effective in conquering difficult people.

As you confront the difficult person always be willing to listen to the person searching for feelings that may make it obvious why the person is feeling the way he feels. You should try to listen carefully while showing empathy to the person. Openness and awareness can also help you to decide what the true problem is and exactly what the person is saying to you.

As the person talks ask questions internally to see if you can resolve the problem right away. Asking questions can help you maintain control. The questions you may want to ask, include but not limited to, what is the need this person is feeling that is making him feel self-defeated. What is the problem the person is experiencing, making him feel anxious. What does the person want from me?

As the two of you confront the problem be sure to maintain eye contact while keeping your posture straight. This will let the difficult person know that you are confident. If you appear to be lacking confident the tiger will move in and devour his prey.

As you listen to the difficult person, maintain respect, although this person is not respecting you. This will show him that you view him as an equal, and that you respect his difference of opinions.

As you speak with the difficult person use the concrete strategy in your speech, i.e. use "I' instead of "You," as you move ahead. "You" is a defense tool that will heat up the moment.

Try to keep the person as you communicate in the here-and-now by using your immediacy tools. Use self-disclosures in your speech also to show the listener that you are not judging him, or being critical of his opinions, yet you are willing to share with his thoughts.

Now you can move head on into the confrontation by standing up for you respectfully, as you use warmness in your voice. Warmness lets the receiver know that you respect him and that you are friendly, open to view points, and ready to accept providing it does not pose on your person.

By Readabout's Handling Difficult People Team

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